The wedding industry is getting more inclusive, but we still have a *lot* of work to do. Here’s a great starting point for wedding vendors on how to better serve LGBTQ+ couples.
Clearly say what you stand for on your website.
If you have space to talk about loving pizza, coffee, and houseplants you have space for an anti-discrimination statement.
Couples should never have to email you to ask if you’re inclusive.
If you feel hesitant to post that you are LGBTQ-friendly, you need to ask yourself why that is.
Use gender-neutral language on your website, contracts, and when working with clients.
Not all couples have a bride. Not all brides are the ones leading wedding planning.
Queer couples shouldn’t have to read bride & groom over and over again on your website or in your contract.
You don’t know if there are non-binary folks on the guest list. When speaking with the wedding party call them that or say “Sarah’s side” if you need to be more specific.
“Esteemed guests” works much better than “ladies and gentlemen” when making announcements.
Respect Pronouns.
Include your pronouns in your bio and email signature. This is not only a way to let folks know you will respect their pronouns, but it's also a nice way of normalizing everyone sharing their pronouns. The burden shouldn’t fall on those using they/them, xe/xem, or trans folks. Pronouns shouldn’t be assumed.
Ask couples their pronouns when they inquire with you and then always use those pronouns. This is great to include your contact form!
Pronouns are also an indicator of what other language might work for someone. If a client is using they/them pronouns, even if they look very feminine or masculine to you, they likely won’t want other gendered language applied to them. Instead of bride or groom, you can say marrier. Instead of husband or wife, you can say, spouse or partner. This is a great habit to get into regardless of your client's gender identity!
Don’t assume things about your clients or their guests.
Even if your couple looks straight to you—you don’t know their gender or sexual identity, nor do you know their guests’.
Ask your couple what they want! Queer or straight, lots of couples don’t want to participate in various traditions. Give couples the freedom to make their own choices & to make their wedding a reflection of their love.
For photographers, don’t assume someone’s role in a relationship and then pose them that way. Pay attention to how your couple interacts with each other and use that to inform posing and prompts.
When discussing getting ready or fashion choices you can refer to someone’s outfit rather than “the dress” since all kinds of couples wear all kinds of different things.
You can ask if someone will be including flowers in their look rather than assuming they will have a boutonniere or bouquet.
When ending the ceremony, the officiant can say something like I pronounce you “legally wed” or “married” or “partners for life” instead of any gender-specific phrase.
The officiant can also say “you may now share a kiss” or “I invite you to seal your promise with a kiss” instead of “kiss the bride.”
Advocate for LGBTQ folks outside of the wedding industry.
It is not enough to be “okay” with taking someone’s money.
You should be working to improve the everyday lives of queer folks by staying informed, signing petitions, writing your representatives, and sharing content to help others get involved as well.
If you're able, donate to organizations like the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, The Trevor Project, or locally at Louisville Youth Group.
Commit to Learning.
Queer Kentucky has a training called "Trans Inclusivity in the Workplace" that is great info for all work environments.
Inclusive Kentucky Weddings expands on this post in their guide for LGBTQ+ friendly wedding vendors, offers an LGBTQ+ audit for wedding professionals, and has a directory full of Queer-positive wedding vendors!
Listen to LGBTQ+ folks when we share our experiences.
Last but definitely not least; Don’t tokenize people.
This would be a whole post of its own. Read “People Are Not Props/How to Avoid Tokenism in Your Portfolio” from Catalyst before working to diversify your portfolio.
